Trust – a personal choice
At Refugees at Home we are often asked by new hosts whether it’s OK to allow their guests to stay in their homes while they are away. The answer is – it’s entirely up to you.
Everybody is different, and it is up to you how you share your home, and what you feel comfortable doing. Some people prefer to take a break from hosting if they are going to be away. But for host Marijke, trusting her guests to look after her house was a natural step.
“I’ve had friends who were less OK with the idea of hosting, and asked questions like, ‘Will you lock up your valuables whilst you host? Will you lock the other rooms to make sure people don’t go in?’ But for me, I trust the people and trust in the process that goes into hosting.”
Marieke’s trust was put to the test early on in her hosting journey, when her first ever guests arrived at her Manchester home on a Friday afternoon and were given the keys to her house the very next day when she left on a week’s holiday. “It was tricky timing, but they were delightful.
Putting trust to the test
Marijke says, “They looked after my house, and they watered my plants and you know, when I came home, my kitchen was rearranged. They had been great stewards of my home.”
For Marijke, getting to know her guests and building trust and a shared respect is an important part of the process. “For all of my guests I’ve allocated time to spend with them, whether it’s going for a walk, or having a meal together. Offering my guests a constructive space where they can think about what comes next is really important to me. When we don’t speak the same language, it just takes more time to communicate, but I really enjoy it, we have a meal with google translate and I’m trying dishes I’ve never eaten before, they tried meals they had never tried before and it was just lovely.
“My Kurdish guests did not receive any kind of public funds, so they used a local food bank, and they did take pride in preparing us meals with the food they could provide and it was really important to honour that as they wanted to contribute something.
“Hosting helps you to see life from your guest’s perspective. You see at times the powerlessness they face, but also their resourcefulness. And that’s the interplay isn’t it? It’s mutuality. Everyone has something to contribute.”
