It has felt like we’ve made a direct difference to their lives.
Amanda, one of our hosts in Exeter, shares why she started hosting with Refugees at Home and how her children played a key part in deciding to open her home to people seeking safety.
The real trigger to host was my children. I wouldn’t have known anything had they, 14 and 16 at the time, not talked so directly about the war in Ukraine and the children at their school who were directly impacted by it. They were hearing first-hand stories from classmates, both Russian and Ukrainian, and their parents who were sheltering from bombing and separated from their children. So, we discussed the idea of hosting between us, and we all agreed that if we could, we would help. Then a friend of mine told me about Refugees at Home, so I registered.
Over the years, we have had overseas students stay with us and au pairs when the kids were little. So, welcoming someone into our home did not feel like a brand-new concept. The difference this time around was that it would be somebody seeking safety and that’s been quite different for them. We are privileged, living in a lovely home in a safe country, so it has been enlightening for my children to see life through somebody else’s eyes. It has tapped into their empathy.
The people who have stayed with us have been wonderful and it’s been an enriching experience for us all. We have hosted twice under the Homes for Ukraine scheme with support from Refugees at Home. Our guests have been very different: the first woman who stayed with us preferred more privacy and a quiet chat every now and then. Whereas our current guest, who is here with her three-year-old son, likes a hug on a regular basis! She is happy to talk openly about how things are going. We had Christmas together and seeing it through a little three-year-old’s eyes all over again was magical, especially as my kids are all teenagers now. We are all very much enjoying having a little toddler running around the house!
It is important to remember that guests all have different personalities and to be accepting of that. We welcome them to join our family meals, but we make sure we’re not offended if they don’t want to. Sometimes they might prefer to have a peaceful moment to themselves or to FaceTime their family.
In terms of the support, it became clear that there is a good deal of support and guidance from the outset, both for me as a host and our guests. There are people from Refugees at Home who have been in regular contact. There is great local support too, especially this café in Exeter centre which our first guest went to a lot for Ukrainian support. There are free English classes on offer, and one guest found a job very quickly in our local shop. People have been so receptive to helping and really wanted to show their support.
It is rewarding from a point of view of bringing somebody new into your household, especially if you have children. It has felt like we’ve made a direct difference to their lives.
More people should host. My philosophy is that if you can help, you should. It is inspiring to see people coming here to a completely new land with no friends or networks, striving to create a new life for themselves.
