Respecting your guest
Addressing the power balance
Refugees and people seeking asylum are, by definition, vulnerable. They will have been through traumatic experiences that have led them to the point that you meet. However, this trauma and vulnerability doesn’t stop them being a person in their own right, with their hopes, ambitions and views.
There will always be a power imbalance between you and your guest. They are staying in your home and accepting your generosity. Take particular care about developing any relationship beyond that of host and guest, use your Placement Coordinator to help build your relationship and to talk things through if your guest is asking for more than you can provide.
Sexual relationships are never appropriate and will result in placements ending. Very intense friendships can be problematic too. You might be making a very genuine offer of help or friendship, but your guest may well feel powerless and obliged to agree as a result.
Do not enter into business relationships or any financial agreements with your guest. We believe that these are highly unlikely to be appropriate and there are significant legal risks if hosts accept any payment which might be construed as rent from guests.
One guest spent a lot of time in his room and I was concerned that I hadn’t made him comfortable enough to use the shared spaces. Eventually he told me that he just hadn’t had a room with a door for so long and he was enjoying having a space where nobody else comes in – which I totally understood!
Respecting your guest’s space
Many of our guests have had long, stressful journeys to the UK. Some of them come to us after sleeping on the streets or staying in crowded asylum accommodation. While having a roof over their head makes a big difference, it’s also important that their room is a private, calm space for them to use as needed.
Please be respectful of their boundaries. Unless previously agreed, try not to enter their room without permission and make sure to knock first before opening the door. Please also make sure that anyone else in the house – children, relatives, or visitors, also understand this. On arrival, many guests will want to take a shower and go to bed – some hosts tell us they barely see their guest for the first 24 hours of their stay; that their guest finally feels safe enough to sleep. Of course, this won’t be true for everyone.
Guests may spend a lot of time in their room. Generally, it’s not something to be worried about but feel free to raise any concerns with your Placement Coordinator.
Cultural, religious, and dietary requirements
Our guests come from a wide range of countries, backgrounds, and religious groups and may have their own requirements, customs, or traditions. It’s useful to speak with your guest early on in the placement to find out their needs and if there’s anything you can do to accommodate them. We don’t ask guests about their religion, but we will ask if they have any dietary needs or any important cultural connections we should be aware of.
If you are hosting a guest and you keep halal or kosher, for example, we can make sure this is explained to the guest in advance; it’s crucial that we know what is most important for the guest to be aware of when they are living with you. If your guest keeps halal too, speak to them on arrival about the food that they can prepare and how they can store it in your home. Many guests are happy to follow a vegetarian diet while being hosted; telling us they enjoy the experience.
If you’re hosting a guest observing Ramadan, you may find it useful to read our guide on the subject.
